Anger
Understanding Anger
Anger is a feeling we all feel sometimes. It can help us know when something is wrong.
But it can be a problem if it hurts you or others. It might make health worse or spoil friendships.
What is Anger?
Anger is a word for many feelings like feeling betrayed, jealous, annoyed, or frustrated.
Other feelings might happen with anger, like feeling sad, embarrassed, or guilty.
Common Physical Changes
When we are angry, our body might change. We might feel our heart race or muscles tense up.
We might feel hot, dizzy, sweat, or shake. Our chest might feel tight.
Angry Thoughts
When angry, we might think “They deserve it,” “I can’t trust them,” or “They’ve ruined everything.”
These thoughts can make us feel worse. It helps to notice these thoughts.
Angry Behaviour
Anger makes some people shout, swear, slam doors, or hurt things and people.
Some might use drugs or alcohol or hurt themselves when angry. This can affect health and friendships.
What Causes Anger?
Anger might happen because someone says something mean or a past memory upsets us.
We might stay angry because thoughts, feelings, and body are linked.
Our past can change how we handle anger. If we had hard times, we might get angry easier.
How to Control Anger?
Knowing about anger helps us control it. Notice when your body feels angry.
Try walking, having a bath, or listening to music to relax.
Slow your breathing by counting to 3 in and out.
Imagine a calm place or let anger drain away like water
Coping with Angry Thoughts
Notice thoughts you have when angry. Do they make you feel worse?
Try changing thoughts to be more balanced. “They upset me, but they can be kind too.”
Think about what happened before you got angry and what you did.
Write down what happened to understand better and decide if you want to change.
Where to find support
Resources for people who engage in abusive behaviours towards a partner
Resources for people who engage in abusive behaviours towards a partner. The resources try to help you understand your abusive behaviours and start to contain them.
Men’s Minds Matter – Men and Anger
Men and Anger? Anger management for men resources.
Mind – How to cope with anger
How to cope with anger? Explains anger, giving practical suggestions for what you can do and where you can go for support.
NHS – Reframing unhelpful thoughts
Challenging unhelpful thoughts. In time, this can really make a difference to our mental health and wellbeing.
Free Resources
Resources to guide you in practising mindfulness and body scan exercises
Relaxation resources including visualisation and progressive muscle relaxation exercises
Audio files of relaxation techniques that can help relieve stress and gain a sense of well-being.
Samaritans
Helpline open 24/7. Phone support 116 123. Email support: jo@samaritans.org or mail: Freepost SAMARITANS LETTERS
SupportLine
Supportline is a helpline offering emotional support to people of any age. Email for support to info@supportline.org.uk or call 01708 765200
Reading Well
Self-help books to support mental health, which are available to borrow from your local library.
Apps and videos
AIMS for Anger Management
The AIMSapp is based on the Anger and Irritability Management Skills online self-help course. The app provides users with education about anger, opportunities for finding support, the ability to create an anger management plan, anger tracking, and tools to help manage angry reactions.
Quit Anger: Anger Management
Contains further reading about anger, access to tools including breathing exercises, guided meditation, and relaxing music, anger log feature allows you to record triggers, warning signs, and track anger level. Available for iPhone and iPad
Samaritans Self-Help
Includes a tool to track your mood and identify patterns. Access to a range of techniques to manage difficult feelings.
SilverCloud
SilverCloud is an online therapy platform that uses proven methods like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to help people manage their problems by encouraging them to change the way they think and behave.
How the Brain Works with Anger
To find out more about how our brain works with anger you can watch short video.
Anger Warning Signs
This short video explains what the Anger Thermometer means and how to use it to manage anger.